01
Submit the objective
Tell Tom who needs the news, what happened, your relationship, and the context that keeps this from becoming total chaos.
Veteran-built attitude • zero official authority
Tom Breaks Terrible News
You have something awful to tell somebody. Tom has a phone, a plan, and a questionable willingness to carry out the mission.
Welcome to The Terrible News Desk. Submit the objective, provide the context, and if it survives desk review, Tom may deliver the terrible news so you don’t have to.
📡 Desk status: operational. Submissions are live. Acceptance is not guaranteed. Regret remains the submitter’s responsibility.
TOMTHE TERRIBLE NEWS DESK
MissionDeliver the terrible news
StatusOperational
PriorityQuestionable
Threat levelRuins Thanksgiving
Objective: somebody has to tell them.
Mission brief
How the operation works
02
Desk review
Every request gets screened. No threats, scams, emergencies, doxxing, impersonation, or other nonsense likely to involve lawyers.
03
Mission execution
If it’s a fit, Tom makes the call and delivers the message with just enough professionalism to make the situation memorable.
04
After action consequences
You outsourced the conversation. Whether that was brilliant or cowardly is between you, your conscience, and Thanksgiving dinner.
Condition levels
How bad is the situation?
Our condition system was developed with the same rigorous methodology as most group-chat advice: absolutely none. Higher levels simply indicate how much emotional body armor Tom should consider before dialing.
Terrible News Condition Levels
Condition 4 • awkward
Condition 3 • rough
Condition 2 • terrible
Condition 1 • catastrophic
Black flag • thanksgiving
After action reports
Recent terrible news
AAR-001 • Awaiting first debrief
Empty now. Awkward later.
Published calls, clips, or recaps will live here once missions start getting completed and cleared for release.
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AAR-002 • Stand by
Somebody is getting a call they didn’t ask for
Audio, video, summaries, and mission notes can slot right into this section.
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Desk archive
Terrible news ages surprisingly well
Eventually, filter by relationship, severity, and whether Thanksgiving survived.
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Rules of engagement
Funny does not mean reckless.
Mission approved territory
- Awkward but truthful personal news
- Breakups, confessions, embarrassing updates, family drama
- Pranks or jokes that do not threaten, deceive, or unlawfully target anyone
- Stories you can explain honestly with enough context to review responsibly
Mission denied
- Threats, harassment, stalking, hate, or doxxing
- Emergencies, self-harm, medical crises, or death notifications
- Impersonating police, courts, military, government, banks, employers, or other authorities
- Scams, knowingly false accusations, minors, or illegal conduct
Intel
Frequently asked questions
Will Tom call everyone?
No. Every submission is reviewed. Some are unsafe, some are a bad fit, and some simply do not deserve deployment resources.
Can I stay anonymous?
You can request that Tom not identify you. Whether that is workable depends on the facts and how obvious the setup is.
Will calls be recorded or published?
Only where lawful and appropriate. Recording and publication are separate decisions and may require additional consent or review depending on the circumstances.
Is this affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News or the military?
No. Tom Breaks Terrible News is independent and is not affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News, the U.S. military, the VA, DoD, or any government agency.